Magnolia Bar

Două săptămâni în care am învățat să construiesc, nu doar să gătesc

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Nu a existat un plan de afaceri. Nici buget, nici strategie, nici o foaie de parcurs.
A existat doar o întrebare:

Cum ar arăta un cheesecake făcut exact așa cum ar trebui să existe?

Nu „destul de bun”. Nu „merge și așa”. Ci corect — până la ultimul detaliu.

Procesul

Timp de două săptămâni, am intrat într-un ciclu de iterație continuă:

• Am testat rețete.
• Am ajustat proporții.
• Am refăcut de la zero lucruri care erau „acceptabile”, dar nu erau la nivelul la care trebuiau să fie.
• Am schimbat ingrediente.
• Am schimbat temperaturi.
• Am schimbat timpi de coacere.

Dar, mai presus de toate, am schimbat perspectiva. Nu mai era vorba despre un desert. Era vorba despre un sistem.

Schimbarea de paradigmă

La un moment dat, am realizat un lucru esențial:

Nu mai fac cheesecake. Îl construiesc.

Fiecare strat are un rol precis. Fiecare gram contează. Fiecare textură există cu un motiv clar. Poate sună excesiv pentru un desert. Dar exact acolo se află diferența dintre „bun” și „memorabil”.

Dincolo de buget si Primul test real

Acest proiect nu a fost niciodată despre optimizarea costurilor sau a timpului. A fost despre ceva mult mai simplu — și mult mai greu în același timp: Să faci exact ce vrei, așa cum simți că trebuie făcut. Fără compromisuri.

Primele reacții au venit la birou. Am adus câteva felii, fără așteptări. Prima mușcătură — liniște. Apoi, o singură întrebare: „Mai ai?”. În acel moment am înțeles ceva important: nu contează doar execuția tehnică. Contează efectul — ce se întâmplă cu omul din fața ta. Se oprește. Zâmbește. Se bucură. Un efect neașteptat si, surprinzător — un sentiment de bucurie. Poate e zahărul. Sau poate e starea pe care o creează un lucru făcut cu adevărată atenție.

Primele rezultate

În două săptămâni am vândut câteva cheesecake-uri. Nu multe — dar suficiente. Suficiente cât să observ un tipar: oamenii nu cumpără doar un produs:

• Cumpără experiența.
• Cumpără diferența.
• Cumpără atenția la detaliu.

Majoritatea au venit prin recomandări, conversații și un simplu: „Vrei să încerci asta.”

Magnolia Bar

Așa s-a născut Magnolia Bar. Nu ca un business în sens clasic — ci ca o extensie naturală a unei convingeri:

Să faci ceva cât mai aproape de perfecțiune, chiar dacă nimeni nu ți-o cere.

Ce urmează? Nu știu exact unde duce acest drum. Dar știu un lucru cu certitudine: pentru prima dată după mult timp, nu fac ceva pentru că “trebuie”, fac pentru că “vreau”. Și asta schimbă totul.

Ce e pentru tine?

Dacă ai ajuns până aici, poate ai și tu ceva în minte — ceva ce ai vrea să faci cum vrei, nu doar „suficient de bine”. Începe. Nu trebuie să fie perfect de la început. Dar trebuie să fie al tău.

Magnolia Bar Engineered to taste right.👨‍🍳

Rome in a backpack (versiunea in Romana)

Dragi prieteni, una din pasiunile mele este scrisul si reusesc sa o fac destul de rar, dar indeajuns cat sa pot fi alaturi de voi si de gandurile mele.

De aceasta data am sa impartasesc una din experientele mele recente (vacanta de weekend prelungit in Roma – Italia) si am sa punctez ce am observat/trait in cele 3 zile petrecute in Roma.

Pentru a calatori din Iasi pana in Roma putem folosi mai multe mijloace de transport, chiar si bicicleta, insa pentru a folosi la maxim timpul avut la dispozitie am ales calea aerului, folosind una din companiile low-cost disponibile. Biletele de avion pentru 2 persoane, drum dus-intors, fara bagaje de cala au costat undeva la 700RON, la care adaugam si 2 taxi-uri de la aeroport-casa – 50RON.

Ce am folosit ca transport in Roma?

Ajuns la Roma, am aflat chiar din aeroport ca exista autobuz ( 5Euro per persoana ) pentru Gara Centrala – Roma Termini, de unde puteam ajunge usor la locul de cazare folosind metroul ( 1.5E per persoana/per calatorie). Roma Termini iti ofera multe optiuni in materie de transport urban si extraurban, unde in functie de preferinte poti opta pentru: metrou, tren, taxi sau autobuz. Binenteles am verificat si costul la Uber, insa depasea 35E, asa ca am ales confortul unui scaun de autobuz/metrou vs masina – pentru mine nu a fost nici o diferenta. Aceleasi modalitati de transport le-am folosit atat la dus, cat si la intors, astfel ca am totalizat 13E cost transport. Zic totalizat pentru ca e usor si tentant sa cumperi un metro-pass cat esti in Roma, insa arunci banii pe fereastra, e inzecit mai interesant sa faci bataturi decat sa stai sub pamant.

Unde m-am cazat?

Undeva la 3-5 min de mers fata de Vatican astfel incat orice punct cardinal alegeam ca si directie de mers ramaneam profund impresionat de arhitectura cladirilor si de atmosfera zonei. Surprizator sau nu,  locul de cazare a costat aproximativ 60E pe noapte pentru 2 persoane, era un loc modest si curat, aveam mic dejun inclus (o cafea, un suc si un pastry la alegere) si o piata cu fructe si legume chiar in fata cladirii.

Unde am mancat?

In Roma gasesti mancare peste tot, ce va pot spune din fata locului este ca am preferat sa mananc in zonele mai putin turistice, din experienta, daca vrei sa te apropii de autenticul locului in materie de mancare atunci mergi acolo unde este mai putina atractie turistica (alege o artera secundara si opreste-te acolo unde simti mirosul de mancare buna, sau foloseste Yelp).

Nu am rezistat sa nu mananc si intr-un loc turistic, doar sa imi confirm a-100-a oara 🙂 ca nu se merita. In fata la Pantheon, Rome – Wikipedia sunt cateva restaurante, unde poti manca o pizza fara gluten/fara gust (niciodata sa nu zici niciodata, insa eu nu mai mananc niciodata gluten free pizza) si poti bea un vin de proasta calitate, platind undeva la 50E si traind ‘bucuria‘ de a manca ceva de proasta calitate si de a privi la Pantheon – ma scuzati, insa eu prefer o mancare buna, autentica.

Undeva, pe una din strazile din Roma am gasit la intamplare un restaurant care a reusit sa imi trezeasca papilele gustative. In 3 mese am incercat un sortiment de paste, o friptura de vita si 2-3 feluri de pizza, si cu fiecare dintre mese am fost din ce in ce mai multumit. Nota de plata pentru o masa(pranz/cina) de doua persoane era undeva intre 30-50E pentru o masa calitativa unde sacoul nu era necesar la intrarea in restaurant.

General vorbind, numesc un restaurant de bun, cel care are un raport pret/calitate cat mai aproape de 1.

 

Ce am vizitat?

La majoritatea obiectivelor turistice am incercat sa ajung cat mai dimineata posibil pentru a nu sta la cozi si pentru a ma bucura de priveliste si nu de inghesuiala. Toate obiectivele au si o modalitate contra cost de a nu sta la coada (skip the line), eu am platit doar intrarea la obiective – pe principiul ‘cine se trezeste de dimineata, departe ajunge’.

Colosseum – impresionanta arhitectura, cu o mare incarcatura istorica. Am petrecut cca 1h si jumatate, unde am avut posibilitatea sa vizitez cele 2 niveluri. – mai multe detalii aici.

Vatican – greu de scris, insa am ramas profund impresionat de privelistea oferita de Dome. Cele 537 scari au parut o nimica toata atunci cand am ajuns sus.  – mai multe detalii aici

Altare della Patria – o alta cladire impresionanta, care in ziua vizitei gazduia Giorno dell’Unità Nazionale e Festa delle Forze Armate si am avut ocazia sa vad diverse cadre militare. – mai multe detalii aici.

Fontana di Trevi – frumoasa, insa mult prea turistica si aglomerata. Am reusit sa o vad si ziua si seara, un mic wiki fact – in jur la 3000E sunt aruncati zilnic in fantana – mai multe detalii aici.

Stadio Olimpico – da am cumparat si bilete la meci, insa nu am vazut nici un meci – a fost anulat din cauza ploii. Am reusit sa mai vad unul din marele stadioane europene si m-am bucurat de o bere. Tura urmatoare :).

Pe scurt, am incercat sa scriu cateva randuri la principalele obiective turistice vizitate. Roma este cu siguranta o capitala ce creeaza sentimente la fiecare colt de strada si in scurtul timp petrecut acolo a reusit sa ma convinga ca este un oras ce merita vizitat.

Timpul trece ireversibil si trecutul isi pierde din substanta ori de cate ori nu il apreciem la adevarata sa valoare. Fii fericit si bucuros in fiecare clipa alaturi de cei care ii iubesti.

Understand your biases – Make better decisions

Why would I choose to understand biases? How would that help me? On short, if you have no clue what is all about, a walk-thru this article should give you a rough idea what are the main biases that could influence your decision.

We are all aware that everyone is making decisions and there is no doubt that has been at least one moment in your life where you had to make a decision: make a career change, rent or buy a house, get married or not, have children, etc.

Here is a short list of biases that could influence your decision:

Loss Aversion – is the human tendency to strongly prefer avoiding a loss to receiving a gain. This particular cognitive bias consistently explains why so many of us make the same irrational decisions over and over, in the realm of economics and elsewhere. Loss aversion neatly explains the phenomenon known as the endowment effect, the tendency for people to place a higher value on something they own than on an identical thing that they do not own. This bias is often met when you want to sell one of your belongings (house, car, etc.) as unwillingness to sell it for less money than you paid for it

Confirmation Bias – occurs from the direct influence of desire on beliefs. When people would like a certain idea/concept to be true, they end up believing it to be true. They are motivated by wishful thinking. This error leads the individual to stop gathering information when the evidence gathered so far confirms the views (prejudices) one would like to be true. Imagine that you have tried to reach a friend of yours, via phone/email and that friend has not returned your call. In situations like this it’s easy to jump to a conclusion that your friend is trying to avoid you, leading to an unchecked believe that can easily turn into a true factor.

Anchoring – describes the common human tendency to rely too heavily on the first piece of information offered (the “anchor”) when making decisions. During decision making, anchoring occurs when individuals use an initial piece of information to make subsequent judgments. Stores use it all the time to convince you to buy – For example, the initial price offered for a used car sets the standard for the rest of the negotiations, so that prices lower than the initial price seem more reasonable even if they are still higher than what the car is really worth.

Overconfidence Bias – is a well-established bias in which a person’s subjective confidence in his or her judgments is reliably greater than the objective accuracy of those judgements, especially when confidence is relatively high. A person who thinks he has a photographic memory and a detailed understanding of a subject. The person could show his overconfidence by deciding not to study for a test that he has to take on the subject, thus doing poorly on the test due to lack of preparation.

As we have seen loss aversion and related biases are an important driver of human decision making in many situations. On one hand, it can encourage extreme risk averse behavior, and yet in a different situation it can lead to excessive risk taking. It is also a key reason for customer inertia and causes people to over-value the goods they own.

Thank you for reading my post and I hope it has generated some ideas for your future endeavors. I would also be interested to read your thoughts on biases and how it influences your decision making.

” All of us show bias when it comes to what information we take in. We typically focus on anything that agrees with the outcome we want.” –  Noreena Hertz

References:

www.psychologytoday.com

www.psychcentral.com

http://examples.yourdictionary.com

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/15-examples-loss-aversion-stephen-read

 

Poveste de viata: 3 atribute ce nu pot lipsi din profilul unei companii

Scriu acest articol, din bucuria de a scrie in limba Romana, dar si din faptul ca am reusit sa gasesc o companie profesionista ce produce mobila la comanda. Tin sa mentionez de la bun inceput ca nu am fost platit sa scriu acest articol, nu am avut nici o intelegere, e doar una din povestile traite de mine si scriu din pasiunea pentru a darui informatie.

Nu de putine ori in viata am ajuns sa invat lucruri noi si sa gasesc un punct maxim de constructie, langa cei care au avut o apropiere fata de 3 atribute importante: responsabilitate[dex], adaptabilitate[dex] si colaborare[dex].

Povestea celor 3 atribute isi gaseste inceputul in urma cu 4 saptamani, cand am avut o discutie referitoare la lipsa de profesionalism unui asa zis producator de mobila. Atunci am aflat ca sunt si companii profesioniste producatoare de mobila la comanda, chiar aici in Iasi – Ferom.

Dat fiiind ca in decursul anilor am tot lucrat cu diverse companii sau persoane ce produc mobila, am reusit sa dezvolt o serie de intrebari antidot pe aceasta tema:

• cat dureaza executia lucrarii?
• care este calitatea lucrarii?
• cum se realizeaza comanda?
• care sunt modalitatile de plata?

intrebari care si-au gasit raspunsul atat in contractul semnat initial, cat si la definitivarea lucrarii.

Revenind insa la cele 3 atribute, voi explica succint cum isi gasesc locul in aceasta scurta poveste. Respectul e cel care l-am intalnit la fiecare pas, din momentul intrarii intr-unul din sediile Ferom – Podu de Fier, pana in ziua in care echipa a montat mobila. Pentru a fi mai clar:

• s-au respectat orele de intalnire pentru definitivarea design-ului;
• s-a respectat opinia mea si s-au oferit sugestii constructive;
• s-a respectat termenul de livrare, ora si data;
• s-a respectat curatenia din casa, echipa a venit cu aspirator;

In ziua de astazi, ca si companie trebuie sa ai grija cum iti tratezi clientii, sa le oferi posibilitatea de feedback si sa fii intr-o continua cautare de a imbunatati relatia cu fiecare client. Respectul poate fi definit usor – aproape ca odinioara – atitudine de apreciere si consideratie fata de o persoana – insa nu definitia e cea care da tonul.

Adaptabilitatea este stransa legata de un anumit context, in povestea de fata s-a omis un mic detaliu legat de integrarea a 2 sisteme. S-a lucrat in echipa pentru gasirea celei mai potrivite solutii si s-a rezolvat in cel mai scurt timp posibil – 1 zi – nemaiintalnit de mine; nu in lumea software unde microsecunda joaca un rol important, ci in Iasi, unde multe dintre companiile producatoare de mobila calculeaza zilele in luni.

Adaptabilitatea este o calitate importanta ce este strans legata de intelegere si de capacitatea de a te imbunatati ori de cate ori apar modificari la un context prestabilit.

Colaborarea poate fi considerata o mica adnotare la primele 2 caracteristici, atunci cand exista respect si adaptabilitate, se transforma usor intr-o serie de comunicari eficiente. Nu am fost nevoit sa sun de 100 de ori sa verific daca mobila e gata, nu am fost nevoit sa urmaresc fiecare surub sau mic detaliu, echipa Ferom s-a ocupat de tot. Am fost instiintat sa vin sa semnez contractul (ce avea ca aneza si designul), sa fac platile si sa fiu prezent acasa in ziua de montaj

Conform definitiei colaborarea este participarea la elaborarea unei opere sau la realizarea unei acțiuni comune, insa in zilele noastre o gasim din ce in ce mai greu intre cele 2 parti: cea de client si cea de companie, de cele mai multe ori ajungem sa o vedem ca o anomalie.

In incheiere as vrea sa fie clar, ca nu exista perfectiune, insa cu siguranta exista capacitatea de a ne adapta si de a admite o asa numita cale catre perfectiune, spre o liniste ce poate fi deranjata ori de cate ori este nevoie sa progresam in relatia cu noi insine.

Excelent serviciu, excelenta poveste de viata, excelenta companie – am aflat intre timp ca este de cel putin 10 ani in Iasi, este 100% capital privat romanesc, si au un motto atractiv “Cu iubire va mobilam casa”, ce se impleteste armonios cu englezesc-ul “Promote knowledge and knowledge will promote you”.

So hard to push the door … #health #family #work

Waking up in the morning it’s been a constant in my life and I do find it marvelous that I’m able to move around to the speed that I want to.

So what is so hard about pushing a door?

Nothing, some may say. Or everything that keeps you away from what you want to accomplish. I won’t debate the technical appearances of a door, but the motivational factor that allows you to keep pushing that door.

It’s not a miracle that balanced people are ready to improve, learn and also to keep their good habits. They are constantly focused on 3 major components: health, family and work, with or without a specific order, but for sure with a proper balance that allows them to boost their spirit.

#health – I would say that is the most important one. Sure you can achieve anything without it and sure there are numerous examples, but as general statement and vision, we should care about the health that we have and we should continuously improve it. Without health it’s hard to have a family and surely it gets even harder to work.

#family – should be the boost that you need when you do not necessary expect. As you have it, you like it and you should dedicate all the required time to it.

If you aren’t healthy, it is hard to give it all to it and in most cases the family is the one next to you, offering all the support required. So be healthy and love your family.

#work – should melange and should allow you to constantly enhance the first 2. The work should not explain you how life is or how health is, unless it really is about that. It should not be a show stopper, it should not apply strategies, it should not … not. The work should allow you to become what you want to become.

So, for me the doors that are to be pushed, should be pushed with various forces and it could be the case that expected becomes the unexpected, what is important is that you should not be afraid to embrace it.

#health #family #work #enjoy

“Promote knowledge and knowledge will promote you”

Here are some quotes on them:

http://www.brainyquote.com/search_results?q=health%20family%20work%20enjoy

Buddha sais “To keep the body in good health is a duty… otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear. “

I am no expert, but …

Nowadays this is just a trend, you have to be an expert, you have to be someone who at least ‘sales’ himself as an expert, either on Linkedin, either on Facebook, either on any other communication channel that is out there.

As I am no expert, I did a search on WWW and I stopped at Merriam-Webster dictionary and here is what I have found out:

• obsolete : experienced
• having, involving, or displaying special skill or knowledge derived from training or experience

Plain, straight and simple, this is just a quick dictionary and it gives you the short version of it; the Wikipedia goes a bit deeper:

• there isn’t an expert of all
• there are areas like: historical, research or academical that have their own way of qualifying the experts
• there is also an anti-current for the experts – Anti-intellectualism, Denialism
• psychology has also something to say – see the Dunning Krugger article, Pygmalion effect, Rational skepticism

Cross-cutting all of those, we will be seeing slices and qualities that are spinning around people that are so called ‘experts’:

• Required qualifications in a certain domain/field/
• Capability to improve themselves
• Intuition
• Ability to influence others
• Ability to understand expertise as emerging property of communities practices
• Ability to develop mechanisms that enable them to use a large and familiar knowledge base efficiently
• Self-assurance and confidence in their knowledge

The list is much, much longer, and I do not want to transfer all the WWW to this article, but I just what to make you aware of some of them, and for sure, the knowledge ones at the end, have caught my attention.

As no expert I do find myself to the roots of a 34 years old tree and I do keep them strong enough as there is no room for error :), there is always a better way to build things. There is always a way to understand and to become more knowledgeable than you were a second ago.

“Promote knowledge and knowledge will promote you”

Check-out the knowledge quotes on brainyquotes and don’t forget. ENJOY!

Life Story – How I lost 6 pounds in less than a month

The story

– if you want to see just the [steps].

Without any wish to actually lose weight, but driven by the actual current lifestyle I realized that I could easily get the fat away from my body.

It started 2 years back when I decided to join the Swimathon campaign – see Feel good – Charity Campaigns, when  I realized how much I enjoy swimming, since then I could not stop from doing it, 5 days a week, every day from 6 to 6:30.

A month back from today I had an aha moment when I noticed that in the last year I had a constant weight without any effort of staying away from food, sugar, carbs, fat,…

Know your body – what are the main influencers of your weight loss/gain

Just watch what you do day by day, how much you eat, how much you sleep, what do you eat, anything that could create spikes in your weight. As soon as you know your influencers try to keep them constant for at least 3-4 months.

Usually the influencers can be found online in the specialty books or even Wikipedia, mine are:

• sports at least 30 min per day
• number of sleep hours
• food quantity(of course depending of type of food)
• food quality (don’t stay away from the ribs J – Fire Ribs)
• sugar and carbs(I love chocolate and for sure I love the sweets that I prepare – look out for my speciality cheesecake)

It took me 1 year to constantly watch my body weight and identify the balance on each of the influencers.

O right then, so I have the influencers constant and I have the weight constant, so what is hapening now?

Not much – my sleep hours that I used to have have been modified by various life priorities, so instead of 6 hours of sleep I was getting around 4-5, so 1-2 hour less. Nothing really strange here, but after 1w or so I started to get “Dude you lost weight” statement, and not from 1 person, but several.

Tune your body patterns 1 by 1

No awareness or so, but more intrigued I climbed the scale and surprise – I was losing weight. After 2w only with the sleep hour factor modified – ‘less sleep hours’ I lost 3 pounds, all the other factors remaining in the same constant scale.

How about if I tune in another one? No more carbs from bread for 2 weeks and watch the sugar more carefully. Surprise or not I lost another 3 pounds :).

Share and Enjoy!

It’s not about losing weight at all, but for sure it’s about knowing your body – the more you know about it, the more you can help yourself to be:

Healthier – healthy food is somehow relative and now it’s all about Eco 🙂

Happier – practicing sports allows your body to release endorphins, we all know what are good for

Organized – it’s hard to have surprises – it will allow you to control your agenda pretty awesome.

Unfortunately the story ends here, with a guy that is back on the track, showing gratitude to the world, offering a smile to anyone, sharing his findings and for sure Enjoy!ing life.

Steps:

1. Know your body [more details in the story]
2. Tune your body patterns 1 by 1 [more details in the story]
3. Share and Enjoy![more details in the story]

 

How hard is to change the first impression?

We all know that the first impression counts, we are aware of it and we do try (or not) to make a good one. Should be enough to wear ‘the’ suit, ‘the’ tie and to have the right smile, maybe, it all comes to a time fraction.

Competent, attractive, trustworthy, likeable or aggressive could be part of a first impression and it would take just about 10^th of a second (see research article – Princeton University) to get it stamped; all the other additional time it just increases the confidence in judgement and only sometimes allows for differentiated impressions, however the first impression remains anchored.

That being said, we could easily conclude that we are screwed, 1/10 from a second, there is no time to say something, there is no time to go over again, there is no time to fix it. We let it flow and we look retrospective at it.

What should we do if later we have found that the impressions we left on someone prove to be wrong? Should we care about it? Should we try to change it? Should we look back on what we did?

In 2015 Cone&Ferguson in their ‘He Did What? The Role of Diagnosticity in Revising Implicit Evaluations’ are saying that implicit evaluations can be completely overturned through deliberative considerations about a single piece of counter-attitudinal information.

In the study they showed that implicit impressions can be quickly reversed by a single piece of counter-evidence. Reversing the evaluation from negative to positive for sure it’s possible, but it takes lot more positive evidences, whereby from positive to negative can be achieved very quickly.

As part of their general discussion they noticed that, after learning 100 unique positive pieces of behavioral evidence about a target, participants exhibited a positive implicit evaluation of that target. Yet, after learning just a single new piece of negative information (their 101st in the experiment), they immediately showed a complete reversal of their evaluations of the target.

Even if we can turn around a first impression, it is very hard to completely undo it. How much does it depend on us? Some would say 100%, others will rely on ‘destiny’.

“You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” – Will Rogers

Handshake on a first impression

I always have been interested on how we can make a better first impression. As we all know there are lots of things that can make a difference: the way we smile, the way we dress, the way we talk, how we act and react, all of them could set a fingerprint on the initial impression.

How about a handshake, could that influence or offer cues on a first impression?

A study from Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (Alabama University) reveals that, it is a close relation between handshaking and first impressions. The study was built on 112 participants, which had their hand shaken 4 times. For consistency they used 8 characteristics of the handshake: dryness, temperature, texture, strength, vigor, duration, completeness of grip and eye contact and they had the raters going through an intensive training before the evaluation.

Most of their findings are limited to their study, but could be easily extrapolated to the real life situations, whether we shake hands to a business meeting, to a job interview, we complete an agreement or we offer congratulations.

In all of the above situations there are few characteristics that map to the individuals that are giving a firm handshake (i.e. have more complete grip, stronger, more vigorous, longer in duration, more eye contact):

• more extraverted
• more open to experience
• more liberal
• less neurotic
• less shy.

Now, I’m not saying that you go ahead and have a firm handshake and then you are all set, but keep in mind that a first impression could be influenced from first beginning with just a simple handshake.

“You will never get a second chance to make a first impression” – Will Rogers

Dunning-Kruger effect – from incompetent to competent

One of the cognitive biases that keep the incompetent people away from realizing that they are incompetent. No matter if they constantly mess-up things at work, have the same type of dispute at home, are failing various projects, the incompetent still don’t look at them as they’re incompetent.

There isn’t a fine line that separates the “incompetent” from “competent”, but the incompetent is that individual that is less competent than its peers.

The study that Dunning and Kruger worked on, starts with 4 predictions about the links between competence, metacognitive ability and the inflated self-assessment:

1. Incompetent individuals, compared with their more competent peers, will dramatically overestimate their ability and performance relative to the objective criteria.
2. Incompetent individuals will suffer from deficient metacognitive skills, less able to recognize competence when they see it
3. Incompetent individuals will be unable to use information about choices and performance of others to form more accurate impressions of their own ability
4. Incompetent individuals can be more competent by providing them the metacognitive skills necessary to realize that they have performed poorly.

All the above predictions have been exemplified using a series of case studies where the participants have been asked to assess their ability and test performance.

Interesting enough the results of the studies softly conclude that: the way to make incompetent individuals realize their own incompetence is to make them competent.

“Cognitive psychology tells us that the unaided human mind is vulnerable to many fallacies and illusions because of its reliance on its memory for vivid anecdotes rather than systematic statistics. “ – Steven Pinker

Tune in your voice

As more than 90% of communication is to be found in the non-verbal cues that other person is offering: visual, tactile, vocal and use of time and space, we could easily assume that, if we have a communication flow then it is not generated by what words we have used.

“What did I say?” is one the question that takes some thoughtful space in our minds each time we should have expressed something differently. It could be the case that we really said something inappropriate, in a difficult context, to the wrong person, but with a high degree the answer will hardly find its roots in the area of the used words.

If you find yourself in the zone where you are looking to improve some of communication skills, it becomes useful to check some of practical exercises of non-verbal communication: personal space, eye contact, position, facial expression, gesture, touch, locomotion.

Each time we speak, the other people “read” the timing, the pace, the loudness, the inflections, the tone and the sounds. In next lines will go over couple practical exercises on the voice, as most of the time is not what you said, but how you say it. The voice can be exercised, is not something that we have been born and stuck with.

Breathing properly – the amount of air that we are inhaling or exhaling could make a big difference from a pleasant voice to a nasal, from gravelly to smooth.

1. The Stimulating Breath (1 min – watch how to video from DR A. Weil- see video) exercise is adapted from a yogic breathing technique, is to raise the energy of the nervous system and to increase alertness, this technique will give you boost up and vitality in the voice and body. It can be used when you are sleepy or not in the mood, when your natural tendency is to be quite and an energy boost-up will help you.
2. The 4-7-8 Breath (2 min video on how to – see video) is to slow the heartbeat and lower blood pressure, it acts like a natural tranquilizer. It can be used when you natural tendency is to overreact or react too quickly.

Stir your voice volume – the voice volume of the persons can go from a very soft, quite level to a very loud level, those levels are tight to the mind and body state, calm and cool the volume is low, exited or mad volume tends to rise.

1. Call a buddy exercise – you go ahead and use this when you know there is room for improvement on the volume, either the others don’t hear you, either they are hearing you too well and from far distance. This exercise requires a close friend that it’s spending time around you and will constantly tell you each time your voice is low or your voice is high.
2. Laugh Out-loud: Stand in front of your mirror breathing easily. On your out breath begin a series of Ha-ha-ha-ha’s until all your breath is used. Take an in breath and start again. Vary your laughter. Make it louder, make it quiet and then build it up again. Repeat until you are laughing loudly and easily without any strain.

“In order to understand what another person is saying, you must assume that it is true and try to find out what it could be true of.” – George Miller, 1968

Accidental or not, the power of will

What a sports night, O’Sullivan loses in front of Trump and Halep wins in front of Jankovic. Accidental or not and first times driven by the power of will, will be the touch points on this article.

Now it’s been at least 20 years since I’m watching snooker, I didn’t loose any World Championship since 1998 and I always been fascinated by this game. All of these to see the unbelievable, Ronnie kicks the cue ball way too low, so it jumps over the ball in front. It could be that he was tired, it could be that he just made a mistake or it could be that he can just go wrong. I have seen him going wrong before, but even when he goes wrong he still looses in a great way.

Accidental or not, hard to define, you have the facts and you have what happened, recorded on you tube (full game – Full game video – see 1:18:39 for the super-shot).

The player also called “The Rocket” that has 787 breaks over 100, 5 won World Championships, 147 – the highest possible break for 13 times(also the world record for the fastest) and the person that made Hendry to come back in snooker after retire, has never made such a basic mistake.

How is that possible and what has been changed, so Ronnie would do that? Is it accidental?

At the opposite side we have the tennis, where we had some really good players like Tiriac and Nastase and we are waiting for a new one to rise. Simona Halep has at least 2-3 years trying to prove herself that she can be 1^st in WTA, where the American sisters are getting old, Sharapova is not sure that tennis is her carrier and few other that are following.

Indian wells, half way in the game Simona was looking for the perfect corner shot and was keep losing points, she was in the straps trying to achieve the best performance – win the final, win the biggest title of her carrier.

The perfect shot turned quickly in a winning shot, just by constantly kicking the ball in the field, nothing showy, just playing tennis. As she stands “I don’t know how I won today, because I didn’t play my best. I didn’t play like good tennis, but I just wanted to fight to the end.”

What was the fight she did go for and what made her win for the first time the Indian Wells?

Interesting enough, sports it’s a field where the state of a continuous improvement and continuous exercising supersedes all the others, but yet looks that the power of will and the achievement of first, takes a special place and ships the candidate over the mountains.

“It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.” – Buddha

Overdose ourselves with frequency adverbs

False absolutism? Overemphasis? Over-generalization?

How often do you hear words like: never, always, constantly, all the time, continuously, uninterruptedly, invariable?

As theory says the frequency adverbs have a percentage that describes how often an action takes place:

• 100% always, constantly, continuously, habitually (Level I)
• 90% usually, normally, mostly, regularly (Level II)
• 75% frequently, generally, repeatedly (Level II)
• 60% often (Level III)
• 50% sometimes (Level III)
• 40% occasionally, sporadically (Level II)
• 20% rarely, seldom, infrequently (Level II)
• 0% never (Level I)

As soon as the statistics/numbers are kicking in vocabulary, it seems that instead of gaining plus value for that word or sentence, we lose it between the other numbers/details.

Should we use ‘always’ or ‘never’? Should we value them like all the pitching selling recipes that are all over the internet: Always available, Always Innovating, Always win,…, will that bring to us the desired results or it will blister our vocabulary?

Let’s take the extremes out and move our attention on words like ‘usually, rarely, mostly, rarely and seldom’, the 2nd Level ones. Used at a professional level could easily nudge us in the lack of confidence zone, unpredictability, unreliability and irregularity, which will set us from the start to the middle lands of everybody.

Alright, we keep ourselves safe from the first and second level of frequency adverbs, and we let it convey to the ‘often’ and ‘sometimes’, that balanced found a place in the right hand of Greek lady, Themis, and that could offer us another door; obvious that we have all those edge cases where a certain context does not look for the next opportunity, but what I’m after for, is a the pattern that can increase our chances of using the right adverb in the right context.

Close enough to a world where true can be false and vice versa – what is the ‘word/sentence/form’ that would increase our chances to provide the right level of confidence, of professionalism, of measurement, of all.

Real Expression’s of Words Never Heard By The Prolific Penman

References:

• The Stuff of Thought: Language as a Window into Human Nature – Steven Pinker
• The Snark Handbook: Insult Edition: Comebacks, Taunts, and Effronteries – Lawrence Dorfman
• 10 Words people who lack confidence always use
• More use almost always a means a smaller frequency effect: Aging, bilingualism, and the weaker links hypothesis
• Real Expression’s of Words Never Heard – The Prolific Penman

Why is that we are attracted to the secrets?

My believe is that we crave for them; a short analysis tells us that:

• revealing a secret on any of the media channels it’s an audience jackpot hitting;
• the book written by Rhonda Byrne was best-selling 2006 – ‘The Secret’
• the secret magic of the movies is revealing new ways of thinking
• the silent whisper around the corner is finding on new partners

Not only, but the above, could be considered as an indicator of proven interest that is built around secrets.

Secret Key – Unlock it

But what is a secret and why do we call it secret?

By Merriam definition is ‘keeping information hidden from others’ and it is firstly referenced around 14^th century; going deeper a bit I found some documents that reveal information from 1250 AD where Matthew Paris was drawing shows in conference with operative Masons, as later Catholic authorities and Freemasons will draw the lines of infamous Illuminati, the “Men in Black,” the silent masters in the background who plot the futures.

Since then, the definition and the meaning of ‘secret’ has built up its reputation to the extent that secret agencies – wiki list by country seem to dictate who is doing what and why it should run in a certain way.

Bringing my thoughts to the day–to-day activities, I hardly find a real reason why we keep a certain type of information hidden from others. Is it that we don’t want to hurt them, is it that we don’t find it appropriate for them, what is that we want to keep a secret?

“Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.” ― Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard’s Almanack

Various studies reveal that is not even healthy to keep secrets, as James Pennebraker, a psychologist from the University of Texas, found 1970 that “people hiding traumatic secrets showed more incidents of hypertension, influenza, even cancer,”

David Eagleman, a neuroscientist, also at the University of Texas, has found that secrets cause the brain to kind of fight with itself. One part of the brain wants to tell the secret and the other wants to keep it hidden.

 

I will stop now and I will raise you a challenge – What is your secret and what stops you from revealing it?

 

 

 References:

“The Physical Burdens of Secrecy” (Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, Nov. 2012)

“Keeping Emotional Memories Secret” (Journal of Health Psychology, Jan. 1998)

http://health.howstuffworks.com/mental-health/

 

How do we know we have made the best decision?

I would say that: We don’t.

All we know is that we have made a decision, which will bring us in one of the many functional areas of the brain; brain that takes the necessary notes and acts accordingly next time when we have to make another decision. ‘Parts of the Brain and Their Functions’ will leave it on the side for another article.

So what is the big deal with the ‘decision making’ and what is that ‘we do or we don’t make the best decision(s)’. From my perspective it’s all an exercise that we decide to practice it or not, obvious we can do it on different time frequencies.

Can we just say that we never make decisions? We all make them conscious or not: to move, to blink, to sleep … those unconscious ones can go on to an infinite number, it all depends on how often we do it and if we want to challenge our brain or not.

What I’m more interest in is ‘What is happening with the decisions that we make using our conscious zone of the brain? How do we know we made the best one? ‘

To exercise the consciousness part of our decision mechanism will require at least:

• a complete view of the current context – identifying the 5W’s
• a full impact assessment of the previous similar decisions we have made – if there is one

Having parts of these at hand we will make a decision, which will for sure increase our odds of getting closer to a better decision next time.

NOW, wouldn’t be nice to find out what is in our consciousness zone; for sure we will find different flavors of consciousness, some of them are well founded and almost ready to go on unconsciousness state, some of them in progress of becoming conscious and some of them are spinning around and are ready to be welcomed in.

What was the last important decision that you made?

Books:

• The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science – Norman Doidge
• Brain Rules: 12 Principles for Surviving and Thriving at Work, Home, and School – John Medina
• Incognito: The Secret Lives of the Brain – David Eagleman
• Thinking, Fast and Slow – Daniel Kahneman

Cook it or buy it

I did ask myself the other day if I should go and have a meal out or I should go ahead and cook it myself.

Obvious there are pros/cons on both sides and of course there are many types of variations.

I will take a simple example burger with French fries as meal and I will do a cost/time analysis having in mind the assumption that both will contain the same type of ingredients.

For the meal out we have:
– 40 to 45 minutes best case scenario until we could say – ‘Ohhh, that was the meal that I was looking for’
– We will spent around 25-30 Ron (equivalent of 10$)
– We will use the meal waiting time as efficient as we considered

Buy it

For the preparing meal we have:
– procuring the ingredients, average 10 min, this could be less, it depends how efficient we are
– We will spent around 10-15 Ron (equivalent of 5$)
– Preparing the meal it will take 20-30 min
– We will not have any waiting time, as we are busy with preparing and procuring the meal

Cook it

As simple as it has been presented, seems that we could just ask ourselves – ‘is it worth going out or we should just cook it ourselves?’

Worst travel experience as comment to Richard Branson

NY Fitness Coach – not sure why I selected this photo 🙂

I agree, challenge your mind combined with some discomfort can raise the innovation spirit in you.

Most of my flying experiences did not have the wow in it, maybe the first one in US with the British Airways where not necessary the quality of the service, but the enthusiasm of going to US, made it pleasant even if it took around 40 hours, split in 2 flight and 2 busses.

So what is that would bring some ‘WOW’ to our flight experience. To be honest nowadays the connection to the network it’s almost a mandatory thing, wherever you are: on the plane, on the bus, on the…. – of course if you want that connection. I really don’t know why would not be possible, just thinking out loud without any research backing me up. Anything else that I missed? We could almost get the food that we want if we have that network availableJ.

I just don’t like it when I hear over the speaker – ‘Turn off all the electronic devices’ – WHY? Aren’t you a nowadays flight company to afford having the technology that doesn’t make me do that? It’s hard for me to imagine that we cannot be connected all the time, actually I did experience the possibility of having wireless on the plane on my last trip to US.

The technology is out there. I might be hush when I say that the flight companies don’t want to make most of the people happy, could they believe that the technology is there to be used at their disposal or it’s just the blindness of this huge demand and need for technology.

Now, all of these could be the cause of most of the companies that failed. The impossibility to adapt to the new market demands, the idea that they run the world and no one can challenge them. Sometimes the best challenger comes from whiten you inner space.

This is just a comment to Richard Branson’s articles from:

Linkedin Article – My worst travel experience

Virgin Travel Article – My worst travel experience

[Human nature] Communication as far as it gets

Human nature is one of my favorite subjects, the demand of knowledge in this area makes it one of the most analyzed subjects  in the world and it can be found expanded on 3 main axes: physical, biological and social.

There are millions of books out there, both technical and non technical, that will allow you to enhance the knowledge about human nature and that will give you various boosts using the 5w’s theory, but as far as I reached, the combination between theory and practice seems to be as close as it gets to the reality that we live each day.

As we all know there aren’t perfect recipes that will tell you how to act, react, answer, question or listen in a specific context, that’s why this article should offer you an incentive of how we could enhance communication with our employees or colleagues.

Be Honest – any conversation that you have, with any person, of any age or experience should give you the opportunity of being honest[couple benefits]. As example I will use a situational case that I have with my 2 years old son when he is asking for a new car toy, given that he has around 250 toy cars of various colors, sizes and types.

I wouldn’t say to him “I will get you one tomorrow” and than forget about it. I wouldn’t say to him “You have too many and you don’t need one”. I wouldn’t distract him from the store, just so he is not asking for another car.

I would take the context as it is and I will have an honest conversation with him, asking why is he looking to get a new car, what is the reason that he wants that specific car. Aside of the result of buying the car or not, I will offer him a reasonable explanation of ‘why‘.

Far away from the above example, it is important to keep your promise, to be open and to be honest.

Connect – on the daily bases you have many conversations, some of them are or not in your main stream interest. Finding yourself in a conversation that does not trigger your interest level, doesn’t mean that you couldn’t connect to it.

There are employees or colleagues that find themselves talking about ‘nothing’, do not be dismissal and cold, offer them the opportunity to enhance their level of ‘nothing’ either by raising the conversation bar, either by giving an advice or even by changing the subject.

Connecting to the conversation enhances your abilities to understand and to improve the communication level, creating a conversational boost for all parties involved.

Respect – is one of the toughest one, as some may consider conversational respect just a simple nodding while they are talking. Well, the respect on communication is tightly related with someone’s feelings, wishes, or rights and it has to be adapted from person to person and it has to be smoothly wrapped on general respect boundaries.

If the employee or coworker is a confident of yours, don’t play with that – be the confident, if the employee is looking for a technical advice, don’t be cocky – offer that advice, if the coworker is lost in the building or in the elevator – stop for a second and offer him a piece of advice.

Promote – consider it the most important one, in a company or in the Day2Day conversations. If you have been build a paved road or you have walked on one, or even if you have seen/heard that someone else is building it, don’t be afraid to promote it. We need to learn to be appreciative each time we have this possibility.

Communication allows you to promote everything that is beneficial for your daily  life, for the community or for this world.

 

“A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation. ” – Mark Twain – more quotes.

“Promote knowledge and knowledge will promote you” – Marius Cristea

 

How could we Grow the Good in this World

What is the good and what is the bad? How do we pick only ‘the good’ and allow ‘the bad’ to easily fill the goodness bucket without no effort – [skip the how to and go for the identifying the good factors]

I often find my self in the weeds of identifying what is the good and what is the bad. Doing a simple math, I would tend to say that we can try a 50:50 method of choosing one or another, but I’m just afraid it might not fulfill our constant desire of dealing only with ‘the good’.

The next lines will shortly describe 3 of the factors that could help identifying the good: The available information, the quality of information and the timespace.

The available information

This is so widely open to all of us nowadays, that makes it hard to say that I could not find it, I have no idea where should I start looking for it.  There are so many ways that you can obtain the information, it would take me forever to enumerate all: online, books, newspaper articles, friends,  stores,… A funny conversation with few folks the other day, showed to me one more time that no matter what question is out there – you can just easily set it there online and you’ll find an answer for it. Most of the time you find just about ‘483,000,000 results ‘ – on search “Promote knowledge and knowledge will promote you” – the funny part here is the information is continuously growing, last year the same search would have gave around 4k results. So the good is there, it’s up to you to pick it up, just inform yourself. This sends us easily on the next factor.

The quality of the information

When we get such a large number(400 mil results), we have the tendency to click on the items from the first page. Most of the time the first 10 posts will offer a fair image of what we are looking for. If we go deeply through and we still not find it what we are looking for, then we need to refine. It may be simple enough that we need to return to the available information out there and find a different method to obtain it. How do we know is quality? Most of the time we don’t, unless we already have an experience on that specific, but in that case we will not be looking for it.

It is hard to quantify the quality of it, just because you don’t know what you don’t know – see Essential Knowledge for Personal Coaches, By Dean Amory, so the quality of the information will be based on your previous experiences of deciding what is quality and what is not, what is good and what is not.

The Timespace

Time is important, as limited and relative, we will need to show willingness to invest some of it. As soon as we have decided to give some time away for the good, then it will all fall in the priorities queue and in the “completing daily TODO’s“. It’s all up to us to decide how much time we want to set for the good; I’ve seen people that dedicate all of their life for the good of all.

Shortly to conclude here, I would send all of my experience in the fields of constantly growing the good or good growing constantly.

Identifying factors:

1. the available information – So the good is there, it’s up to you to pick it up, just inform yourself [more above]
2. the quality of the information – what is quality and what is not, what is good and what is not [more above]
3. the timespace – it’s all up to you to decide [more above]

All of this has been based on a majority that is willing to improve and benefit from all good in the world.